Belize It Or Not

I have three little words to describe our belated Belizean honeymoon:

Tropical Storm Arthur

Okay, I guess I have more than three words. One might also describe it as gorgeous, sexy, romantic, relaxing, fun, yummy, peaceful, pampered, once-in-a-lifetime, stunning, rejuvenating, hot, beautiful, decadent, and amazing. But I expected it to be all those things. I did not, however, expect it to be a threesome with me, the hubs, and Arthur.

So the brief background on the story is that we never really took a honeymoon after our wedding last summer. Yes, we did get married in Jamaica. But when your parents are just a couple doors down, it does not a honeymoon make. We were so busy (and broke) with the move to California coming up a few weeks later that it just didn't make sense to take a honeymoon then. Instead we promised each other a bigger, fancier trip for our one year anniversary.

The original plan (ten days in French Polynesia) got set aside when we decided it was more important to us to attend Dan & Abby's wedding (which was last weekend, blog post on that to come soon) than to take a long trip to Bora Bora and Moorea. We decided that if our honeymoon won't be ten days in moderate accommodations, it should be four days in totally luxe accommodations.

So onto Plan B, which was the fabulous One & Only Palmilla in Cabo. But about a month after we booked, they decided to start a massive remodel which would close 50 of the rooms, two of the three restaurants and the pool. So Plan C it is.

From the moment I saw Cayo Espanto's website, I knew that nowhere else in the world could be more perfect for a honeymoon (to all of my newly engaged friends, take note!). This place is its own private island, about three miles off the coast of Belize. The entire resort is comprised of six luxury villas that dot the island. Five of the six villas have their own stretch of beach, boat dock, and a plunge pool; the sixth is an over-water bungalow a la Tahiti. The room rate (which, I'm not gonna lie, is obscenely expensive) includes all your custom-prepared food and drink, water sports, and the services of your own private butler to provide for your every whim while you're on the island. As my friend Kristen would say, we were "sold and sold."

I enlisted the services of my friend Marcie of Beach Bum Vacation to book our dream trip. And although we booked the least expensive room they had available, Marcie sweet-talked them into upgrading us to a nicer villa (that is supposed to have the best sunset view on the island) for no additional cost. Score!

Getting to Cayo Espanto was a little bit of a trek. Our journey included a two and a half hour flight into Dallas, a layover, then a two hour flight into Belize City where we boarded a Cessna 208 and flew into San Pedro (which has no paved streets) where we got in a cab that took us to a boat that took us to the island. Upon arrival in San Pedro, our houseman, Obed, was waiting to escort us the rest of the way. He brought along rain coats and towels to keep us dry on the seven minute boat ride to the island.

The entire island staff--including Salty, the resident dog--came to greet us. Cold drinks and hot towels were waiting for us at the boat dock, and from the moment we arrived we weren't allowed to lift a finger.

Our villa was the embodiment of luxury. 1500 square feet, sitting right on the water. The villa opened on three sides to let in the breeze and the sunshine, and even though it was overcast and raining when we arrived, the sight of it was breathtaking. A king-sized bed with 1000 thread count sheets, down pillows and comforter, and mosquito netting sat in the middle of the room, looking outward over the private plunge pool and the ocean. The bathroom was comprised of four rooms--a toilet room (which, because of the island's plumbing system, sort of felt like the restroom on a boat), a dressing room with white robes and a long vanity filled with top of the line soaps and lotions (and even a curling iron!), a glass-encased indoor shower, and just outside it an al fresco shower in the fenced-in garden. There was a table for two in one corner of the room, and a flat screen TV with satellite in the other. In the middle was a sitting area with two more chairs. Outside we had two adirondack chairs on our private beach, two wooden chairs next to our plunge pool (which spilled out into the ocean), and two cushy, padded lounge chairs at the end of our pier. For extra privacy, the entire villa was surrounded by massive palm trees. During the course of our stay, we didn't see a single other guest.

Our dinner setup on the nights it rained.

Before we arrived they'd asked us to fill out a survey regarding our music, food and drink preferences. So when we walked in, some mellow island music was playing on a state-of-the-art sound system that had its own iPod dock. We were informed that a comprehensive CD collection, DVD collection and board game selection was available to us at any time. While Obed brought in our "snack" (warm quesadillas with sour cream and pico de gallo), the guest services manager showed us our kitchenette which was pre-stocked with Diet Coke, bottled water, and three types of local beer, just as we'd requested. If you were to open the refrigerator at any given time you would have assumed we hadn't drank anything because our supply was replenished four times per day.

Because of our good friend, Arthur, we were forced to spend most of our time indoors and each day progressed pretty much the same way. Obed left us with a walkie talkie so we could summon him at any time (and he told us he wouldn't approach the villa unless we called for him...under no circumstances will they approach without letting you know they're there....and if you are, say, sunbathing topless, they will respect your privacy and stay out of sight until you tell them it's okay to approach).

So we'd wake up and call Obed. Within minutes he'd be there with hot coffee and milk, fresh-squeezed OJ, and a plate of fruit (usually pineapple, papaya, mango, watermelon, starfruit, kiwi, cantaloupe and apples). During your stay, every meal (four per day, including the afternoon snack) is prepared to order by one of the two chefs on the island. There was a list of breakfast ideas already in the room, but the chef would come by personally in the afternoon to present his suggestions for lunch or dinner (we always had numerous options, and were free to order something totally different if we liked) and ask what time you'd like to eat. All meals were served at your villa, either inside, on your deck, or on your boat dock. The food on the island was so amazing, and presented with such attention to detail, that it deserves its own separate post (so stay tuned for that).

While we ate breakfast, Obed would silently make up our room, open all three sides of our villa (we had to sleep with them closed because of the rain...the island is so private and safe that you can actually leave them open at all times otherwise) and then he'd slip out. We called him a few times to have him bring us cocktails (the island's signature frozen beverage, the Espanto Wave, was a personal favorite of mine) or snacks, but otherwise we just kind of enjoyed the peace and quiet and time alone.

Over our stay I read three books cover to cover. We watched a few movies, played cards, drank beer while we watched for fish to leap out of the shallow aqua water surrounding the island, and we ate and ate and then ate some more. With no phone or internet (the island has them, but we chose to be out of touch with the real world during our stay) there was time for long showers and afternoon naps. We had silly conversations and spent a lot of time just listening to the rain fall on the roof.

By our actual anniversary the rain had stopped, but the sky was still overcast and gloomy. At that point, though, nothing was going to keep me from enjoying the outdoor amenities and attempt to get a tan. Jack did a bit of snorkeling in the area around our villa, and I got a fabulous massage out on our pier. Although the island staff was very discreet, the massage therapist let me know that Chelsea Clinton and her fiance had stayed in our same villa six weeks ago (and they both got massages every single day) and that over the course of the last year, Johnny Depp, Harrison Ford and Leonardo DiCaprio had all stayed in there, too. So we're practically celebrities.

Getting a massage...and the celebrity juice.

Napping on the pier.

On the night of our anniversary, we decided to get more dressed up than usual for dinner. They had asked us if we wanted to eat outside (since it was the first night it wasn't raining) but we were confused when Obed never came to set up for dinner. It wasn't until it was almost time for us to eat that I saw flames flickering through the palm trees. As a surprise, Obed had our dinner set up on the beach, just a few feet from the water. The entire area was lit by tiki torches and candles. It was probably the most romantic dinner (and one of the best dates) of my life. The meal concluded with a miniature wedding cake on a plate that said "happy anniversary and honeymoon." While we ate, Obed turned down our bed and converted our plunge pool into a hot tub. We spent the rest of our anniversary drinking Belizean beer and slow dancing in the water. It was sublime.

Jack's "blue steel" face. :)

In the end, the weather prevented us from doing a lot of the things we'd planned to do, like sea kayaking around the island, getting a tan, or going snorkeling in shark alley. This was the second Caribbean vacation in a row where Jack packed all his dive gear and never got to dive (Belize has the second largest barrier reef in the world, so that was something he was really looking forward to), but we figure that's just one more reason why we'll have to come back someday. Granted, it won't be for many years because it's pricey and not a place that I would want to bring my kids, but there is no doubt in my mind that we will go back one day. Cayo Espanto is just the kind of place that, once you've experienced it, all you can think about is when you can go back and experience it again.

Casa Olita, our villa.

Obed setting up our last lunch at Cayo Espanto.

Tell me this doesn't look like paradise!

Belize from the air, aboard a BN-2 back to Belize City.